Adjusting My Mentality

I may have talked about this topic before, but it’s currently on my mind so here I go. 

For the large majority of my life I was always anticipating the next step. My mind was constantly already on the next big thing. Impatiently waiting for a new chapter to start. That whole “13 going on 30” thing was especially true for me. I couldn’t WAIT to be an adult. I couldn’t wait to get to high school, then college, then get married, then have babies! 

I’m quickly approaching 28 and most of the things I thought would have already happened haven’t yet. As the years went by I realized that the preconceived timeline I had in my mind wasn’t really important after all. Not to me, anyway. I don’t have any children yet… and while I did get married I also got divorced! And I don’t care! That’s not to say that I think divorce is frivolous and something to be taken lightly; I certainly don’t. But I’m definitely not beating myself up over the fact that my life took a different turn. 

Something that I did start beating myself up about, however, was that I’d been working on a book for 2 years and hadn’t finished it. It’s like my mind was always so preoccupied with the future that I wasn’t taking the necessary steps in the PRESENT to get to the future… if that makes any sense. It does no good to anticipate being an author if you aren’t finishing an actual book. Duh. 🙂 I needed to adjust my thought process to focus on what was going on currently in my life rather than anticipating what I wanted to happen in the upcoming months and years. I mean, this seems fairly self-explanatory, I’m sure. But it really did take some effort to switch this up in my mind. I needed a jump start. 

Living pretty much entirely in the present is not only helpful for my work (I’ve been more productive in the last year than in the last THREE years), but it’s helpful for my personal life and my general state of mind. I didn’t want to look back and feel like I missed out on life because I was too focused on what was coming up in life. 

So here I am. Doing my best to live in the moment–in the present. I finished my novel and am working on the sequel. I started my freelance editing side gig. I started volunteering as a mentor to a foster child. I’m working up plans for a potential after school writing program (we’ll see what happens!), and I’m just doing what I can to enjoy life right now. 

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