Embarrassing Myself

Every now and then I find myself going through old poems I wrote, or old essays for school, and I realize that is something that is just awful about being a writer. For every moment of genius there is a moment of embarrassment, and they are all recorded for posterity.

I found one non-fiction essay that I wrote back in sophomore year of college (2005, yikes) and was thoroughly mortified that I ever read it out loud to an entire classroom full of my peers. Or to anyone. Ever. Mor.ti.fied.

Reading through it I just realized how I pretty much sounded… like a douche, for lack of a better word. I wanted to burn it, and erase the memory of it from the brains of everyone who was in that classroom.

But that is the risk we take, as writers. I know there is a definite quote about it somewhere, but many have talked about it, and written about it… the fact that we are at our most basic level a bunch of self-centered people who believe that what we have to say is important. So we write it down. Some of it ends up being quite important, or moving, or at least entertaining. Some of it ends up making us look like douches.

And yet, we write. 🙂

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One thought on “Embarrassing Myself

  1. I was just having this same thought the other day. I was reading through some academic stuff from a few years ago, and all I could think was how did professors think this stuff was good. I was comma splicing all over the place, and I didn’t know how to write a thesis statement to save my life. It’s good though in a way, seeing how far you have come. Keep writing! Hopefully, one day we will be such good writers that we won’t be embaressed by our past works. 😉 Here’s hoping.

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